Written on 2.16.01
I stand in darkness now.
I stand where it was nothing but pure light, sunshine all day long that you could feel warm on your skin.
I have fallen from my path, I can no longer see where I am going.
Only that at times, I drift from my course.
And head in the wrong direction. Heading in a direction, that I should not be following.
A path that I should not have to follow. I find myself being caught, in between the light, and the dark.
I am being pulled in two ways at once, and its all that I can do to stay where I am.
I am in a place where there is nothing but imaginary grace.
Where if you don't look it in the eye you don't have to face the problem.
But if I turn to the light, then the darkness is at unease.
Or if I turn to the darkness, then there are troubles in the light.
Where am I to go, what am I to do. I can not stand in this spot for long.
I am being distant from life. I can not stand the responsibility of facing one, but can take on the obligation of another.
Where am I to go, what am I to do.
I look to the sky for a star to guide me on my way.
And one day find myself standing in a better place.
But I see no star in the sky. I see no way out of my position.
What am I to do. . . . . . . . . . .